MCA #0, Tuesday morning

[grenadesandohana]

Steve had been stewing since Sunday night when he'd said goodbye to his father with an awkward hug and an insincere smile. As farewells went, it was decidedly better than the sound of a weapon being fired over a staticy satellite phone connection, but it reminded him that for all that his drug-assisted (thanks for nothing, Wo Fat, seriously, nothing) dreaming, he and his father hadn't known how to talk to each other for decades.

He came back from his morning run and swim with donuts and apology coffee for Danny. Not that he'd call it apology coffee, but he recognized he probably hadn't been the easiest person to room with the last few days.

"Danno?" he called, coming in through the lanai. "You up?"

It was practically seven. Shouldn't everyone be awake by now?

Comments

[hatesparadise]

Danny understood his urge to hide away all the raw wounds left in his dad's wake. Didn't mean he had to like it, but he understood it.

"You're way too chipper," Danny informed him around a yawn. His hair was still damp from a shower, so he wasn't freshly awake at least.

[grenadesandohana]

"Exercise puts me in a good mood," Steve said, handing him the coffee.

Regular coffee, no pumpkin stuff.

[hatesparadise]

Danny made a moderately impressed face before taking a sip. "You can stay."

[grenadesandohana]

And Steve knew Danny was kidding, that he wouldn't dream of having Steve leave because of a cup of coffee. But he still felt like an exposed nerve after the weekend, and so he flinched, covering it by putting the donuts onto the kitchen island.

[hatesparadise]

Danny let out a little sigh at that, watching Steve bluster his way through things. But not he was allowed--at least he hoped he was--to reach over and touch him when it happened.

"You look tired."

[grenadesandohana]

Steve rubbed his eyes. "I'll be okay," he said, shifting slightly into Danny's space. "It's not be easy to get my brain to shut up the last few nights."

[hatesparadise]

"Yeah. I'm sure," Danny replied, settling in easily in Steve's space as well. "Do you feel better about gettin' some of that out?"

[grenadesandohana]

"I might in a week or so," Steve said quietly. "Right now I feel kinda nauseous."

[hatesparadise]

"Nauseous," Danny repeated, taking a deep breath. "Elaborate for me, will you?"

[grenadesandohana]

Steve's hands gripped the counter as he struggled for words. "Just...things I did say. Things I didn't say. How patterns don't break in a weekend. Turns my stomach a bit. I mean, I knew my brain was on some good drugs when you were walking around my dreams in aloha shirts loving the island but I didn't realize how much I'd also shined up Dad."

[hatesparadise]

Danny sighed and nodded in agreement, letting Steve work out some of that shit. "You think that relationship was ever fixable?"

[grenadesandohana]

"I think it depends on what fixable means," Steve said. "It's really hard to get past being punted to the mainland."

[hatesparadise]

"Trust me, I'm on your side there," Danny promised dryly. "I just don't want you to beat yourself up because of what you did or didn't do with that man while he was here."

[grenadesandohana]

It was like Danny knew Steve really well or something.

Steve let out a breath, closing his eyes. "Yeah."

So he already was beating himself up.

[hatesparadise]

Weird!

"C'mere," Danny said, putting his coffee down for a hug.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve hugged him tightly.

[hatesparadise]

"You're allowed to be a mess right now," he reminded Steve, well, informed really. Because Steve. "It was a lot.

[grenadesandohana]

"I'm really not," Steve sighed into Danny's shoulder.

[hatesparadise]

"This is me giving you permission," Danny replied. "Do something dumb--not illegal dumb!"

[grenadesandohana]

"Want to get into a rickshaw race?" Steve mumbled.

[hatesparadise]

"Not in the slightest, but if it'll help you feel better, I'll pretend." Which really was love.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve brushed a kiss--barely there--to the top of Danny's head. "I don't want to get in a race."

[hatesparadise]

"Thank god for that," Danny teased gently, tilting his head back to be able to look up at him so he could tap Steve on the side of the head. "You've got a lot bottled up in there. I worry it'll overwhelm you one day."

[grenadesandohana]

Steve squeezed his eyes shut. "Yeah, I know."

[hatesparadise]

Danny stopped that tapping to cup the back of Steve's head so he could pull him down for a kiss. "I worry about you a lot," he admitted.